Death isn't funny.

chill

Chuff

"No, no," he said. "You misunderstand. I'm not an executive, I'm corporate. We like to make a distinction."
"Oh, I thought-"
"No," he reasserted. "There's a difference, and we're very picky about it. Executives are paid more, and then run away with the company. Corporate people just have to live La Vida Blanca. You have to be full of shit, but I like being full of shit. See?"
I didn't, but I said yes.

I don't read that web page; it's tested on animals.

Nobody asked your damn opinion.

Lots of vegetables
Protein
some grains/carbohydrates
a little sweet.

Odd. I wasn't paying attention, and the robot ate something unpleasant. I have to stay focused.

Porn is funny.

Gulp

Bogged Down in Crap.

I Wasn't Looking, said My Friend.
I wasn't paying attention anyway, said his Alter Ego.
You were, and you were, said Mine.

It's time for your favorite game & mine, what's in Mister's Gold Box:

prices rounded to nearest $.50:
1. Warcraft, the nifty one with the DVD & Soundtrack CD: $42.50 (Got it, played it, beat it. Thanks, Bob
2. Dora the Explorer, Lost City Adventure: $16 (lotsa video games today...)
3. Braun KMM30 Coffee/Espresso Mill, White: $42.50 (Ooooh... Coffee....)
4. Oregon Scientific Heart Rate Monitor: $70 (They mark this as a {kitchen} item)
5. Coffee Mill $17
6. Tomorrow Never Dies Special Edition DVD: $12.50 (to go with the Goldeneye I didn't buy yesterday)
7. Giant Blue Toybox With Dividers: $40 (That's their description, not mine. The box in the picture is actually white.)
8. Jamberry 4 quart salad bowl: $22.50
9. Lexar Memory-Stick-reader: $20 (an external reader for Sony Memory-Stick Media)
and
10. Hamilton Beach Humidifier: $40

No TV this time. I'm scandalized.

It's time for your favorite game & mine, what's in Mister's Gold Box:

prices rounded to nearest $.50 or $1
1. Goldeneye Special Edition: $12.50
2. SIMS vacation expansion pack: $22
3. Calphalon Commercial Hard-annodized 12-inch everyday pan with cover: $30 (save $138) (Can I pass this one up? I'm actually pausing...)
4. Zoo Tycoon Expansion pack: Marine Mania: $25.50 (I didn't get the pan)
5. Calphalon Professional Nonstick II Collector's Edition 2-1/2-Quart Shallow Saucepan with Glass Lid: $20 (Another limited-edition cooking pan. Huh) (saving $70)
6. Madden NFL 2000 (video game): $8 (that's two pans I've passed up now)
7. Delonghi Freshzone Total Home with Electrostatic Media Filter B: $47 (I don't even know what the hell that is. It isn't in stock, even)
8. Cuisinart CPT-65 Custom Control Total Touch 4-Slice Electronic Toaster, White: $77 (A seventy-seven dollar toaster. What the hell?)
9. KitchenAid Poly Cutting Board with Santoprene Handles, Blue: $17
and
10. Memorex Travelview 43055 Mobile VCR with 9" Color TV: $298 (Finally, a TV. The suspense was killing me)

Is it just me, or are there are lot more kitchen items and a lot fewer TVs and TableSaws there than before?

There is a company I have to call with alarming regularity. Without fail, I am on hold for a minimum of 5 minutes. Their hold music system is hooked up to a CD player, and they own one, count it One CD. I've heard all of the Beatles One several times. This is the second time I've been put on hold today. Here Comes the Sun. Again.

Today is a Happy Red-Letter day, but some of them are just, as Leistiko says, for me.

Sometimes when you are sick you say funny things.

"If I go next door and ask for a Tincture, are they gonna say 'we're not that kind of store, sir (wink wink)'"

Tincture. Hee hee. Tincture.

In today's goldbox: (all prices after SPECIAL DISCOUNT)
a $30 blender from Cuisinart
a $12 DVD (bond. Tomorrow Never Dies)
a $17 Palm Starter Kit (I don't really know what that is. A case? I suppose...)
an $1100 flatscreen TV (JVC, really nice, but I'm a Sane TV Kinda Guy.)
an $800 flatscreen TV (Phillips. See? It lets you shop around for a TV, just within a limited context.)
a $20 ToyTrain stake-sided car with cattle
a $73 (I'm pasting this directly from the page, because I don't believe it myself) Calphalon Tri-Ply Stainless Collector's Edition 16-Inch Roaster with Rack. A collector's Edition roaster pan. Woo. hoo. (Here's a link, if you don't believe me)
a $150 3-disc changer from Phillips.
a $20 single setting of white FiestaWare (pointless, really, as I seldom eat alone, but you get ONE coupon and can't buy quantity on this)
And Finally
(life is beautiful)
an $8 thermometer.

I like GoldBox because it follows the proper arc for a story, starting sort of mundane, getting unbelievable and interesting, then climaxing and dropping us off at the end. Yay! Stuff!
I didn't buy any of it.
I'm so old.

He accidentally installed Microsoft Internment Explorer. It took up all his time. It's better than Sims.