I wish I'd gotten to know her, before I fell in love.  

-They Might Be Giants, "Out of Jail"

  Am sleepy from climbing much.
Yeeha.  

  Stupid Pink Fluid Bags.  

Here is the end result of a conversation that started with our CEO asking, "Can you buy some more bubble wrap:"

Life Cycle of the Packing Material
or, How to be a Peanut Farmer without getting your hands dirty
   The curious life cycle of the Packing Material (vesicus folium) begins with the humble "Biodegradable Packing Peanut." Long believed to be wheat-based, this egg-stage of the folium is the most delicate. We have not yet determined the evolutionary reason for the eggs' being water soluable, but the reason for the similarity to the larval stage is clear. The delicate egg can blend in with the soft larvae, thus generally avoiding harm. After a gestation period of eight to ten days, the folium hatch into the very similar but more muscular larval stage.
   During this stage, commonly called the "Styrofoam Packing Peanut," the folium is more mobile, able to fly short distnces (in fact, this "flight" is a sustained jump aided by the folium's light construction), and with a tenacious clinging system, thus enabling it to travel from the spawning grounds and disperse to areas with more food.
   The question, of course, came down to this: what conditions does the folium prefer, and why? The answers, as nearly as our research can uncover, are dust and dark. The "Styrofoam Packing Peanuts" tend to try to drift into darker areas where dust collects. Of the twelve folium spawning grounds we inspected, all had at least one larva and at least one adult behind each piece of furniture and in at least one corner.
   The adult folium, from which stage the species takes its name, begins as a sheet of diaphanous material, with gas-filled cists. The juvenile adult stage is often highly prized by poachers, as it can fetch up to $1/square foot on the open market, particularly within the antiques shipping community. For a time, the folium was thought to be endangered, until the fabled Office Depot spawning grounds were discovered and the herds replenished.
   The mature adult folium is similair to the juvenile, but the main body sheet is thicker, and the cists larger. Once the folium reaches full adulthood, the sheets join together into long mating strips, exchanging DNA along a line of up to several hundred yards. This brings us to the curious discovery that the folium are, in fact, hermaphroditic, as each individual produces spores and fertilizes its neighbors.
   When the spores are fertilized, the cists are ready to be burst. However, here a curious relationship exists between the folium and the homo sapien: the primate bursts the fertilized cists, and in return seems to derive pleasure and delight from the popping sound. As far as we can tell, this is the extent of the "reward,"although we are still observing, and some of our researchers postulate that the folium may release some mild opiate, although this has not been established.
With the bursting of the cists, the airborn spores are released, and drift through the air until they come to a dark, enclosed place. They latch on, often to the insides of boxes, and there they grow into eggs.

  Turning toward the dying chicken, the dog said,
we are not so different, you and I
with its final breath, the chicken raised its head and managed
piddle, sir, to you and yours. A Pox Upon You.
There, the death of the noble chicken.  

  Well, Piss.  

  Tired. At Work. Time. More Later.  

  Says Calvin: Get Rid Of Stinky girlS.  

  Girls are Still Weird.  

  Girls are Weird.  

So, we went to a party over the weekend. I wrote a haiku about a guy.

 His patience is short
The bathroom line is so long...
the backyard's calling  

  Yeah. I dunno.  

  Driving Angry sends up Red Flags.  

 There is an asshole who lives inside me. He talks to the back of my head, criticizing everything I do. When we fight, he says, in that sing-song elementary school voice of his, "No-o-o, let's not settle this. Let's harbor all those grudges, let's keep all that resentment inside. It's good for you, don't you know?" He mocks me.

  To Want what you Do Not Have is Bad
To See what you Want and Cannot Have is Infuriating.
To Need what you do not Want is annoying.
To Want what you Cannot Need is unlikely.
A Little Knowledge is obnoxious.
 

"How do you manage to live without touching anything?" he asked.
"What do you mean? I touch all kinds of things."
"Nothing important, though. You walk through your life, looking but not touching. 'Reality is a museum to be preserved,' I think you once said." He looked stern.
"That was back in high school, though. I was stupid in high school."
"It's the same you," He was glaring. "You're just older; all that garbage has had more years to worm its insidious way into your being."
"That's not fair."
"Of course its not. The question is, where's the anascarid?" he quipped.
"I don't even know what that means. Is this like your karma-wheel-o-ole thing?"
"Kamakowiwo'ole, and no." The conversation was beginning to wear on him. His attention was elsewhere. "This is just what I said it was. I don't know how you can live without touching anything."
"You said, and here I'm throwing your words back at you, 'Everything I touch, I destroy.'."
"I'll use your high school defense." His attention was back again.
"Come on, that's lame. You can't use my defense. You never finished high school."
"Whatever. I said what I had to say." And he went back to sleep.

  Rejoice in me, for I am risen. By which I mean there should be a party because I managed to wake up.  

  No, sir. That would disrupt my






chill.  

  Oh yeah? Well R. Crumb Ain't Dead.  

  No, sir. That would disrupt my






chill.  

  MisterNihil is Mean.  

  Hey! Try this:
For the rest of today & all day tomorrow, try walkin' around with the seed put into your head that You Are Beautiful. Whatever that means to you, go ahead and let it become your center for the next 30 hours. If it means a beautiful character, know that about yourself; if it means a beautiful body, know that about yourself. Just go ahead and be beautiful for your own sake for the next day and a half. Don't change who you are. Change what you know.  

  Is it only an addiction if you can't function without it for a day? Is it an addiction if you think about it all the time? What's the line, really?
I need a new addiction. I'm sick of this cycle. I need to go shopping around. Maybe just coffee. I don't know. I quit paying attention. I can't write like this. My mind is too clean.  

  Yeah. But not right now.  

  YAY!  

  I am sleepy. You smell.  

  Twaddle, Watson!
Name That Movie.  

  The Technocratic Revolution will be televised.
Cause, like, how could it not?.  

  Yeah, well, I think purple is a dumbass color anyway. So Nyah!  

  I'm so happy I could just.
Oh, never mind.  

  Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Misternihil is a Jackass
Happy birthday to you.  

  Once, when I wasn't looking, something nice happened to a person I hated, so I worry now that if I turn the other way, people I don't like will have only good things happen to them, so I keep 'em where I can damn well see 'em.  

MisterNihil is a jackass.

  insincerity. once you can fake that... whatever.  

  Well, Damn.