A cold cup of comfort for Friends.  

 I made an annoyance. 

 The Works of Poe are Online for Free. 

There's something absolutely not creepy about an essay on the exact science of diddling.
Hey Diddle Diddle

Woo Hoo! F'in Javascript! Woo Hoo!

 This week's Brezsny:

Yesterday I was busy reorganizing my room. While moving some things to make room for my laptop on a shelf, I temporarily placed it on the floor. "Please take note, Rob," I said pointedly to myself as I resumed puttering, "that the computer is now on the floor. Do not step on the computer. Did you hear me? Do not step on the computer." A minute later I got distracted by a phone call and ambled off to another part of the house. When I returned, I was lost in thought. As you might guess, my right shoe soon landed directly on the laptop. The damage cost me $125 to repair. The moral of the story, as far as it concerns your imminent future, Cancerian: Don't put the laptop on the floor in the first place.

Good advice. Particularly for one who is me on the weekends, as I am.  

 
When you stop looking around for what bit you in the ass, it's subtlty. Subtle-tee. Subtletea. It's the act of being subtle. Subtlety. It's biting you on the ass. I mean it. Seriously. And you don't know it.
OK, so, personal insults aside, it's not all bad.
Decided: Life is stinky. Even the smallest part of it. One-celled organisms, big elephants. All stinky. Can usually smell 'em a mile away. Stuff didn't evolve pheromones 'cause it was a good idea. It's a terrible idea. Stuff just stinks anyway, and cleverly decided to use that.
Stop
paying
attention
 

when did you?

  This link changed on me when I wasn't looking.  

  If you can find Me in these pictures, you either a)were there, or b)just in general know me to well. Or maybe c)guess in a particularly lucky manner. Whatever.  

OK, here's a hint: I Really Am Quite Good Looking.

HA!

Hee hee. Don't you lose him, Sam, and I mean to. hee hee.

 Please allow me a moment of joy: My monkey hat is ready, my monkey hat is ready, my monkey hat is ready. Thank you. 

 Chalk it up to the oddness of retail 

I've just finished ordering porn, not just at work, like some of you schlubs, but for work. Yay. It's the second time in a month, and the second batch of porn (like, not order porn then reorder, but order porn then order different porn). Oooh, and this porn's locally produced. Gotta love it.

Carrot Top beaten to death with a pay-phone receiver. Poetic Justice, or just plain wonderful? You decide.

Nobody likes a tattle-tale.

Dumb Jack-Dempsey-Lookin' Fucker.