Once, there was this girl who
cut me off in traffic in her SUV
and I was all
Damn it!

Man, you have no idea
Like, if you were able to have,
if you had an idea on this,
it would make your eyes melt.
No
Idea.

None.

The Old Storyteller

Once, there was a mermaid who lived on an island in the middle of a lake, a thousand miles from anywhere. On spring days, the wind would blow and the single tree on her island would sway happily, dropping Pecans and Pistaccios which she would pick up and upon which she would snack. She swam often in the waters around the island and ate small fishes that grew up there. Now, one spring day she awoke to no wind. The air was still and the tree hung quietly, as if in anticipation. There was no movement on the lake, which was absolutely still. That lake was as still as -
<interrupting kid>Cream of Wheat?
Well, I was gonna say owl shit, but sure, why not Cream of Wheat, with it's creamy smootheness & it's wheaty goodness...

There is no polite way to demand what you want out of life.
There is no polite way to demand what you deserve out of life.
Civility is Self Denial.