The perfect call, a radio play.

Telephone rings
Me: Thank you for calling Fictional Book Store, this is RoboBelly, may I help you?
Person: Yes, I need to order fifty copies of a book you needed to get rid of anyway, the title is "Fictional Book Piece of Crap" by Author You Hate. The ISBN is 0-00-666-1234. I checked the web page and Books In Print, and I hacked your system and placed the order. I just thought you'd like to know. I even went into the store and put the books on hold. I don't need a discount because you're the only store in town that has this title. Thank you. Go get an Italian soda and put it on my tab. Have a nice day.
Me: Thank you.

A real call, another radio play.

Telephone rings
Me: Hello, this is RoboBelly
Employee: There's a Woman on line 1, and she's Pissed. She said something about a book called something about "Book You Hate but Never Carry" that she ordered last week. I just thought I should warn you.
Me: Thanks.
Phone hangs up. Picks up again, buttons pushed as phone transferred.
Me: a little scared Thank you for calling Fictional Book Store, this is RoboBelly, may I help you?
Person: sounds like caller is in crowded bus terminal. (Muffled: SHUT UP YOU KIDS I TOLD YOU NO TALKING ) Hello. This is Miss Pissed-Off-At-You at BiG Elementary. I ordered forty five copies of "Book You Hate but Never Carry Because It's Seldom in Print and You Have to Call the Publisher" by Obscure Translator. I ordered them last week, and you PROMISED they would be here by Friday, but it's Tuesday now, and I don't have them (muffled SHUT UP GODDAM IT OR YOU'VE ALL GOT AFTERSCHOOL! YOU HEAR ME) and I'm supposed to be teaching this book next week and you're Ruining My Life!
M: I'm sorry. I'll see what's happening - interrupted
P: (muffled SHUT UP RIGHT NOW. THAT'S THE LAST TIME! SHUT UP) It's just that you said they'd be here by Friday. What happened?
M: I don't know. I'll find out and get back to you very soon. I just need to call the publisher and our distributor and see what's happening.
P: Alright.
M: If I could just take your phone number again, please? I'm sure I have it on your file, but it can't hurt to have it again.
P: Yes. 123 (muffledSHUT UP RIGHT NOW. THAT'S IT. YOU'RE ALL STAYING AFTER SCHOOL.) 4567
M: Thank you, have a nice day.
P: Screams into phone YOU STOP THAT RIGHT NOW OR YOU'RE SUSP- Hangs Up.


Woof. It's been a long day. And it's not even quarter-til two.