There was a little duck. It said "I have not water in which to care," and it walked away. Stupid duck.
And it never left a tip, either. Not once. Just eat, eat, eat, leave, no tip.
But then, one day the waitress said "If you're going to be such a poop, you can't come in any more."
So the duck left, and still stiffed her, not only for the tip, but for $.16 of the bill, which was just plain annoying. Stupid duck.